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How to woo Ladyfolk
(And Menfolk)

Best advice anywhere

Warning: Contains extra fruitiness


Hey guys it's Rout.

It's almost Valentines Day, and like most of us we are all alone sad.

However this year I have a solution, a short one and a long one, the short one is easier but try to stick with the long one because it's worth it.

Short Solution:

Become Gay (doesn't bide well for women unless you can grow a penis)



Long Solution:

First thing you need is Gillette fusion. It's the best the man can get apparently and unless you move on from a mach 3; Federa, Tiger Woods and that black footballer will be after you. Girls don't like beards stupidly enough, I can't think of any un-cool guy who has a beard, expect for Noel Edmunds.

Secondly ask stupid questions like "Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris or a Black Hole?" and end everything you say with penis, that usually get's some laughs.

Grow a beard; yes I know it goes against what I said earlier but the advantages of growing a beard far more significant than the disadvantages:

#if you grow your beard long enough

- You can use it as a whip to protect your Ladyfolk
- You can hide snacks in it
- You can make terrorist jokes about it

Nextly eat cereal and watch Hollyoaks, no wait, scratch the second thing, Hollyoaks is terrible.

Read newspapers, they'll give you some intelligent things to say such as "Do you think the new prime minister will be good?" or "Have you seen page 3?".

Eat more fruit and vegetables, they are good for you. Nope nothing random to mention on this paragraph... penis.

Read girl magazines, the best way to know your enemy is to become your enemy. Also paint your nails and pretend to be suprised at everything.

Learn an instrument apart from a recorder or keyboard you nimrod.

Say coo instead of cool, why? Because it's coo.

Learn to play Ukulele, why? Because I said so.


So just stick to my advice and you should be fine for Valentines, good luck everyone. If anyone needs further help, please email me at jamesrout06@hotmail.co.uk

James Routledge

Posted on 28 Jan 2009 by KrikenKing 3 comments.
Frozenwounds says:
Rofl.
Don't say coo!
28 Jan 2009 11:38 pm
mcgrat says:
rout withs with the asian fetish piccie? its quite odd and not very canadian. (im allowed to say canadian women here arent i?)
21 Feb 2009 12:10 am
KrikenKing says:
I like Asian women aswell (especial Japanese). But it's Canadian women for me.

This women just happens to be wearing a very nice outfit.
22 Feb 2009 09:59 pm
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